I had one of those days today. It wasn't simply a day when things went wrong--although that did happen. Today was the first day I honestly wondered if I can handle homeschooling high school. The older two kids do a lot of school work on their own, but they can't do much of that with French, and Biology has gotten kind of tough lately. (Guess which two subjects had tests today?) And, as opportunity cost goes, the more time I need to spend working with Emma and Jeffrey, the less time I have to teach Lydia and Samuel. We're all a little bit behind.
The homeschool musical with which I'm helping is turning out to be beyond my abilities. Well, it's more time-consuming than I thought it'd be anyway, and it's starting to become less fun and more of I've-got-to-get-this-done. Don't misunderstand me though. I love working with the kids. They're so creative and talented and just plain fun. I love them. And I love the ladies I work with too. We make a good team. The way this musical is set up really seems to highlight everything I can't do well. I don't mind learning more and practicing more, but again, opportunity cost.
Today I really needed to have my own Clarence come and show me how awful and empty our lives would be if we hadn't been homeschooling all this time. Maybe he would have shown me that the relationships I have with my children wouldn't be as close and sweet as they are now. Perhaps the world would have squeezed them into its mold more definitively. And it could be they would struggle as much academically in the school scenario as they do at home with me.
It's hard to see you're doing the right thing when everything seems to be going wrong.
I hear you, girl. If it makes you feel any less alone, Zach and Drew are both behind in their high school work right now. In fact, this morning I'm supposed to send in 2nd quarter stuff, and I'm embarrassed by how little is in the envelope. :( I've found that it's almost inevitable to get behind now and then, though. Life happens, and sometimes it gets in the way of getting everything done. Knowing that doesn't make it any less frustrating and disheartening. We'll be spending the next several weeks catching up.
ReplyDeleteIt *is* nice not to be alone. Thanks for your honesty, Girl. = )
DeleteWell....I'm pretty sure you are not homeschooling because you want your kids' education to be perfect....but whole and focused on the right things. Right? So getting behind is okay....your actually teaching them how life is...seasons of not being perfect happen. It's how you deal with them that matter. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI realized after I wrote this that you don't know me well enough to know that I said the words above....because that is what I'd want someone to say to me if I was feeling behind(which I often do). Please know that my words were meant in love! With lots of smiles of encouragement! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I totally get what you're saying Rebecca. Your words were taken in love. = )
DeleteI start to get a little anxious when we get behind. Many homeschoolers can sort of catch up over the summer. That's really difficult for us to do with the camp season. So yeah...I get a little stressed out sometimes, and start wondering if we'll finish this year before we need to start the next! (We're not to that point yet, thankfully.)
Thanks for the encouragement!
Jenny, I think you answered your own question above. As for getting behind, they are probably learning more than they would in a traditional school. Your goal is to finish - that keeps you going. But success is measured by staying the course and keeping your eyes on the prize. Much love!
ReplyDeleteOne of the reasons we're behind is because we don't move on until concepts are understood. (What would be the point?) So, I guess that's a good reason. A great thing about our small class size is that my students can't get lost in the system. (I wonder if sometimes they wish they could! They're sick of mitosis & meiosis!)
DeleteThanks, Rebecca. = )